Tag Archives: Marquis Grissom

Possessive ApASTROphe: Nationals Enslave Astros, Win Third Straight

"What? No! My shirt's just baggy!" --Lucas Harrell, after the umpire called him fat.

Final Score: Nationals 3, Astros 2

Dame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann: 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 H, 0 BB, 3 K. Zimmermann has found himself a new hobby this year: pitching seven innings and giving up one run. It’s a strangely specific hobby, but I’m not complaining. It’s definitely better than his previous hobby–collecting roadkill.

Shame of the Game: 

Fernando Rodriguez: .1 IP, 2 ER, 1 H, 2 BB, Loss. Rodriguez joins Kerry Wood and Carlos Marmol in a club of pitchers who have blown leads to the Nats in the 8th inning mostly by walking people. In this triumvirate of poor and wild relievers, I’d say Rodriguez is the Lepidus…not a particularly great honor.

A lot of those statistics-loving baseball fans who sit around in their mom’s basement crying, pooping and killing flies¬†claim that wins are a bad statistic and are not representative of a pitcher’s actual performance because pitchers have no control over the run support they get from their offense. These computerlubbers might point to Jordan Zimmermann as the perfect example of the uselessness of wins, and at first glance they’d be right. Zimmermann is winless this season despite pitching 21 innings and allowing only three runs. The trend continued tonight: Zimmerman pitched 7 great innings, but the Nats didn’t bother to take the lead until the 8th, after he’d already left the game. So is he just unlucky? I don’t think so. This isn’t a new thing–last year he had the lowest run support of any starter in baseball, ending up with an 8-11 record despite a 3.10 ERA. No, I think there’s a very good reason why the Nationals hitters never score runs for Jordan Zimmerman. It’s because they hate him. Continue reading

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2012 Washington Nationals Roster


The new style for team photos has made some of the players uncomfortable.

Spring is over. The battle to be one of the last 25 standing has come to a close. While some argue that certain people didn’t deserve to make the team, and others say that some players were snubbed, the one thing I think we can all agree on is that twenty-five players have been selected.

Let’s look at the team:

Continue reading

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Nationals Sign Zach Duke


Duke expressing his excitement.

*Horn call*

The Duke has arrived! The Duke of Zachs, once the great ruler of the Pittsburgh Pirates’ mound, has been brought to Washington to rule over some place very far away from Washington. This Duke, unlike most dukes, will actually have very little power and acclaim, as he provides rotation depth in Syracuse, knowing that there is absolutely no spot for him on the big league team.

No matter how poorly he performs or how little the team thinks of him, he will still somehow hold a higher rank than all of the Marquises who have been on the Nationals.


This one would still come out on top in a beauty contest though.

*Horn call*

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2012 Nationals Player Profile: Ross Detwiler


Ross Detwiler has worn this for seven years now. Weird thing is, only part of that time did he think he was a dog. For the first few years he had a weird fetish.

When Ross Detwiler first came up to the bigs, he was told he needed a nickname. Looking at his name, it’s not hard to come up with Rottweiler. Or rather Rotwiler, by removing “ss De.” Just think of it being spelled by someone with the mental capacity of a first grader or Sean Burnett. EDIT: Sorry for being redundant there.

So ever since Detwiler has been called Rotwiler, he’s developed a more fierce attitude on the mound, intimidating opponents with his “bite.” However he has also developed multiple habits that all point towards him thinking he is actually a dog. Below is a list of incidents since Detwiler has been on the Nationals that have left teammates concerned. Continue reading

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