Tag Archives: Mexico

Maple Leafs Ragged: USA Tops Neighbor to North Which is Ironic Because of Geography

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I’m unsure if this is the same animal that the U.S. and Canada fought over, or John Lackey.

Final Score: USA 9, Canada 4.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The Pig War.

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Pigs. No matter if you’re a normal guy just eating them, or if you’re mark Mark Teixeira and they’re throwing at you high and inside, pigs have a great impact on our lives. So great that the United States and Canada thought they should fight a war because of one. Ok, well maybe it was actually a conflict over disputed islands that was set off because of the death of a pig. But I think it’s a lot less embarrassing to say you were fighting over a pig, because bacon tastes delicious and islands do not.

In 1859, a Northwestern American farmer named Lyman Cutlar found a pig in the garden, eating his tubers. If this doesn’t sound like the start of a softcore porn movie, I don’t know what does. So Cutlar killed the pig. Turns out the pig was owned by an Irishman located in Canadian lands just across the border, who was quite upset. Cutlar offered him $10 to replace the pig, the Irishman demanded $100, and the United States and British-controlled Canada went to war. You know, the traditional way things go when a pig is killed.

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Fight and Flight: Teams MEX It Up As Mexico CAN Do Nothing to Avoid Elimination

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Hitman baseball player finds no joy in his job.

Final Score: Canada 10, Mexico 3.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: Both countries being made fun of by the United States a lot.

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Canada and Mexico are a lot alike. They have close relations with the United States, and for the purpose of this story I will not waste your time with longer lists and trying to come up with jokes but rather will get straight to the point which is based in the fact that they are both of close proximity with the U.S.A.

Oh, they also both speak funny sounding languages.

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THEY TOOK OUR WINS! Mexico Gets Job Done With Cheaper, Harder Working Team

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The fences are pretty low, like in Yankee Stadium. Far too many get out.

Final Score: Mexico 5, USA 2.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: U.S.-Mexico border conflict.

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Throughout the 2000s, Mexicans have taken advantage of weaknesses in the American infrastructure and infiltrated our turf and taken what is rightfully ours. I am of course mostly talking about Mexico somehow continually beating the U.S. in the WBC during important games.

In 2006 Mexico cost the United States a shot at wealth and happiness by stealing away a win in the 2nd round. We tried building up our defenses, creating what we thought was an unbreakable product. But the Mexicans managed to take advantage and find a way to take away what we deserved.

And still today, with Friday’s 5-2 win over the United States, Mexico continues to take what we have worked so hard to achieve, just because they play a more appealing brand of baseball with players who are willing to do things American players aren’t for little money (like bunt runners over).

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A Boot In Their Ass: Italy Kicks Mexico’s Habit of Winning

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“Why the fuck did they give us the wrong hats? Lets put them over there.”

Final Score: Italy 6, Mexico 5.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: World War II.

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Mexico and Italy had met once before on an international stage, in World War II. It might be hard to come across articles about said event, given they are buried beneath the more important articles about a Pool D WBC matchup, but they can be found. And when you find them, you realize one thing. Mexico doesn’t do shit, and mostly relied on Italy to fuck stuff up.

Mexico’s importance in the outcome of World War II was minimal. Mexico’s importance in the outcome of this WBC opening round matchup was also minimal. Mexico just seems to sit around, pretending to be involved but really just letting Italy mess shit up for themselves and then taking credit. They brag about how they were a helping hand in defeating the Italians, when in reality it was probably the heaviness of the mozzarella that made it hard for Italy to get up and do much anything.

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Great Moments in Nationals Sign-Making History

Here at the Zimmerman(n) Telegram, we take pride in making a new and unique sign whenever we attend a Nationals game. Given today is the worst day in all of sports with absolutely nothing going on, I thought it would be good to show you some of our signs that we have shown off at Nationals games.

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