Tag Archives: Mike Hampton

Nationals Sign Micah Owings

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I’m sure you’ll find that pen you misplaced very soon, Micah.

The Nationals have signed first baseman Micah Owings to a minor league contract. Now many of you probably remember Micah Owings the pitcher. Well based on the similar looks of the one we just signed, the Owings we got is the very same and has transitioned to being a hitter, is Micah’s twin brother who his parents also named Micah for no good reason, or has had serious plastic surgery and a name change to look like the real Micah. I think choice two is probably the most likely, and that the Owings’s father was also named Micah and we’ve got George Foreman thing going on here.

Owings spent many years trying to make it as a pitcher but couldn’t quite cut it. During that time he was a terrifying offensive presence though, a regular Mike Hampton. Only with Micah you felt bad that he had trouble making it as a pitcher while with Mike you found it hilarious because of his giant contract.

The Nats have previously had a similar situation to the one they now have with Micah. Rick Ankiel made the transition from pitcher to “hitter” as well. Only I put quotations around hitter because well, look at Ankiel’s stats.

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Owings at the Marvin Miller Memorial in NYC a few weeks ago. He was very polite and very tall, which both directly translate to offensive success as evidenced by Pleasant McLarge’s triple crown achievement in 1924. I hope Micah finds a place on our team down the line, if only so I can tell people I had a three way chat with a National and Rick Helling once.

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Edwar-ding Off The Demons: Nationals Offense Surpasses Expectations Again By Not Being No-Hit

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Ian Desmond wonders if the Nationals’ “no high five” policy actually exists, or was an excuse to avoid touching him since he picks his nose a lot. (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 11, Rockies 5.

Dame of the Game:

Tyler Moore: 3-5, 2 R, 1 2B, 1 HR, 2 RBI. I bet Moore wished he played in Coors Moore often because he’d hit a lot Moore home runs. Moore than that, he’s driving in runs Moore consistently and proving to be a Moore valuable asset out of the bottom of the lineup than expected. What a tasty little Moore-sel Tyler has turned out to be.

Shame of the Game:

Chien-Ming Wang: 1 IP, 3 H, 2 ER, 1 K. Wang responded to his demotion to the bullpen with an effort that validated his demotion to the bullpen. Say what you want about him being bad, but I know why he did so bad. He really cares about Davey Johnson’s feelings and just wanted to make Davey feel confident in his choice. He is a very caring individual. And a very bad pitcher.

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Is theft of property illegal? I hope not because I like Coors Field, and frankly, I want the Nationals to steal it. I don’t know what’s helped the Nationals offense score 23 runs these past 2 days, but I’m a fan. Maybe it’s the offensive reputation of the park, maybe it’s the terrible terrible pitching that the Rockies seem to have, or maybe we’re all in a drug-induced daze and the Nationals haven’t in fact scored 23 runs these past 2 days. I’m pretty sure it’s a combination of the first two, I mean they say to take two Advils for a headache, right? I did just that, two jars of Advil. And I couldn’t feel more clearheaded. Sfaoinfweiofnew buta taosdij epiear ¬†eaoirierejo :0

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