Tag Archives: Mike Minor

Symphony in M. Minor: Braves Outplay Nats Despite Flat Starting Pitcher

No one likes to sit near David Ross cause he looks like he’d kill anyone who tried. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Final Score: Braves 7, Nationals 5

Dame of the Game:

Adam LaRoche: 2-3, 2 2B, 2 R, RBI, 2 BB, K. Deck the halls with Adam LaRoche. Fa la la la la, la la LaRoche.

Shame of the Game:

Chien-Ming Wang: 2 IP, 4 ER, 5 H. Stephen Strasburg left the game due to heat stroke. I hope Chien-Ming Wang left the game due to normal stroke.

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So apparently it was really hot in Atlanta. I wouldn’t know, being in DC, where it was just slightly less really hot. Of course, I stayed within the friendly confines of very-much-conditioned air, oblivious to the maelstrom of flame that no doubt would have greeted me had I set a foot outside my door. As such, I have NO SYMPATHY whatsoever for Stephen Strasburg, who departed after three innings due to “heat exhaustion.” His untimely exit led to two innings of quintessentially latter-day Wangian baseball, by which I mean Chien-Ming Wang gave up a lot of runs.

Clearly we need to toughen Strasburg up. This is the second time this year that he’s left a game because part or all of him was too hot–first the groin, then the whole country (sounds like a strange call to revolution). How should we go about the toughening? To prepare him for the former problem, I’m sure there are some CIA people the Nats can call up to give Strasburg a quick lesson on the finer points of genital-based interrogation. As for the entire-body heat issue, perhaps forcing him to go to work for a few sweltering days in a full suit and tie, like everyone else in DC, would do the trick. If not, there’s always boiling oil. Let the Nats trainers know about these great ideas if you see them. Continue reading

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Morse Is A Horse, Of Course, Of Course: Mike Stands Tall Over Braves

“Hmm… tastes like… a jersey…” (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 5, Braves 4.

Dame of the Game:

Mike Morse: 4-4, 3 R, 1 HR, 1 RBI. The Code turned things around and cracked something himself. That something was a tiebreaking home run in the 8th to put the Nats on top for good. Morse apparently called his shot beforehand, but I thought at the time that drawing lines and dots in the dirt was just an unnecessarily long at-bat ritual.

Shame of the Game:

Chad Durbin: Loss, .2 IP, 2 H 1 ER, 1 K. Durbin: a word made up of the words “dur,” commonly heard by Chad after doing something dumb while pitching, and “bin,” representing a trash bin in which Durbin’s pitches belong. Durbin. Dur.

Bin.

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Today was in large part about Mike Morse. You can tell by the title of this post, which of course relates to the old TV show Mr. Ed. To honor Michael’s big day, I have rewritten the lyrics for the theme to that show:

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Morse is a horse, of course, of course,

And no one can sock like Morse, of course,

That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed (Mathews).

Go right to the source and ask Mike Morse,

He’ll give you the homer that you’ll endorse.

He’s always on a steady course.

Gawk at Mr. Morse.

People whackkity-whack the balls, into gloves they stray.

But Mr. Morse will never swing unless he can hit it far away.

Morse is a horse, of course, of course,

And Mike will hit with a great big force.

You never heard of a socking Morse?

Well listen to this: “I’m Michael Morse.”

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Nats Continue Medlen with Braves: Minor Effort Drops Atlanta to 4th

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“Mommy, mommy! Get it away!” (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 8, Braves 4.

Dame of the Game:

Danny Espinosa: 2-5, 2 R, 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 RBI. Usually if a manager says I’m going to put someone with a .650 OPS in the leadoff spot, you’d say “No, Dusty. I don’t know why we hired you and Neifi in the first place.” Today Johnson’s gamble paid off. It probably won’t tomorrow though so let’s just get him out of that spot.

Shame of the Game: (Tonight’s Shame of the Game will be written by guest poster Henry Rodriguez)

Tyler Clippard: Save, .2 IP, 1 K. Tyler Clippard is a bad person. His three near perfect saves are much worse than me because I like to have fun and make things interesting. Now my wife won’t talk to me because she has eyes for Tyler. Please give me food, nobody will.

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Today, Stephen Strasburg did what everybody expected. Expected Bryce Harper to do, that is, going 1-2 and bumping his OPS up to 1.143. His pitching line included allowing 4 ER for the second time in three starts. John Lannan, maybe there will be a spot in the rotation after all if we move Strasburg to fill the hole in left… I’m just kidding John. Sorry to get your hopes up, although I imagine there aren’t any to get up after all your hopes and dreams were shattered when being demoted to AAA.

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