Tag Archives: moms

The Curse of the Billy Errors: A Cubs Series Recap

Game 1:


Despite Ryan’s protests, the ump went through with his dick punch, captured here mid-windup. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)

Nationals 7, Cubs 3

This is Ian Desmond’s world and we’re all just living in it. Which explains the amount of accidental gunshot deaths in the news recently. A lot of people are committing stupid errors.

But today there were no accidental gunshot deaths, or even worse, throwing errors for Desmond. Instead he put on a fantastic offensive performance that powered the Nationals to victory. With a home run, a double, and a single, Desmond managed 7 bases while seeing just 6 pitches. So he was a lot more patient than usual. All in all, I’m very happy with Desmond at the moment. In fact, I’m going to order an Ian Desmond jersey right now.

*UPS guy arrives*

Why does this jersey have the number 6 on the back? That’s his old number! Gah, what a stupid error. Didn’t you get the memo MLB shop? We’re not doing that for Desmond anymore!

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Happy 1 Year Anniversary, Us


Really, thank you for loving us.

1 year ago today, February 28th, 2012, myself and Neptooth started this blog. Coincidentally ever since then The Rolling Stones’ “Start Me Up” has been playing on a loop on my computer. Please. Help. I have no way of fixing this.

Thank you for supporting this blog. From our first follower to our second follower…I don’t think we have any more than that…all our followers have meant a great deal to us who created this. Thanks, both of our moms.

We hope you’ll stay with us for another 12 months. Or at least until Rafael Soriano throws his first pitch of the season, because that will be the downfall of us all.

EDIT: For some reason the post claims to have been posted on March 1st, despite it being very clearly 11:35 on February 28th. CURSE YOU WORDPRESS SERVERS BASED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC OCEAN FOR RUINING THIS SPECIAL DAY!

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Nats Acquire Denard Span


Denard’s mother believes having discipline is important for baseball, and still believes in spankings to enforce it. Denard is not fond of spankings. Or as his mom calls them, “SPANkings.”

The Nationals pulled off a big trade just minutes ago, acquiring Denard Span from the Twins for pitching prospect Alex Meyer. The team has been trying to find a solid CF for a few years, and have made many attempts at Denard during that Span of time. The (front) Office has done good by bringing in Denard Dog.

Span has dealt with injuries for a few years, but when playing he’s a big on-base threat and a quality fielder. While this would be a good acquisition for any team, it means a lot for the Nationals. The move allows Werth and Harper to move to the corner outfield spots, making Morse or Moore a valuable trade chip, and the re-signing of LaRoche not such a sure thing. I’m sure Adam would be worried about what this means for his future with the Nats, if he hadn’t already been distracted by 3 separate topics in the last 5 minutes.

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When He Won 17, It Was a Very Good Game: Cards Fall (Further) Into (2nd) Place


Gio did so well thanks to his lucky hat. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Final Score: Nationals 10, Cardinals 0.

Dame of the Game:

Gio Gonzalez: Win, 9 IP, 5 H, 3 BB, 0 R, 8 K. Gio is a rock. And more of a stalagmite than a stalactite. He rises up on a daily basis, and doesn’t hang things at all.

Shame of the Game:

Adam Wainwright: Loss, 2.2 IP, 9 H, 3 BB, 6 ER, 3 K. Clearly, starting Adam was the Wainwrong decision for the Cardinals.


The Cardinals are what everyone has been hoping for. Except some christian boys, they’ve already been traumatized quite a bit. Since coming into Washington, St. Louis has been outscored 18-1. What can we use to explain this offensive showing? Has Mark McGwire been peddling PEDs to the team? No, probably not. He has bad knees, so pedaling can be painful. Maybe it’s just the rejuvenated feeling of coming home again after a bad road trip. Only when I come home after going on the road, I’m exhausted and usually just sleep and ignore my obligations. That’s why I’m not playing baseball I suppose. Or doing anything gainful.

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