Nationals 7, Cubs 3
This is Ian Desmond’s world and we’re all just living in it. Which explains the amount of accidental gunshot deaths in the news recently. A lot of people are committing stupid errors.
But today there were no accidental gunshot deaths, or even worse, throwing errors for Desmond. Instead he put on a fantastic offensive performance that powered the Nationals to victory. With a home run, a double, and a single, Desmond managed 7 bases while seeing just 6 pitches. So he was a lot more patient than usual. All in all, I’m very happy with Desmond at the moment. In fact, I’m going to order an Ian Desmond jersey right now.
*UPS guy arrives*
Why does this jersey have the number 6 on the back? That’s his old number! Gah, what a stupid error. Didn’t you get the memo MLB shop? We’re not doing that for Desmond anymore!