Tag Archives: naps

Spain and Gain: Dominicans “Rock” Spain, Make Their “Mark”

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An effort to get the hot dog vendor’s attention falls short for Carlos Santana.

Final Score: Dominican Republic 6, Spain 3.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The Dominican Restoration War.

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The Dominican Republic is not the feared baseball nation it once was. Its national pride has taken a hit as the team has struggled in the past two WBCs. And what’s even worse is that Dominicans no longer have impressive website making skills to fall back on. Coming into their game vs. Spain they might as well have changed their name to the Dominican’t Republic. Or the Diminishedcan Republic. Or the Shitty Dominican Republic. Any of those clever names work.

But historically all it takes for the DR to get their national pride back is a good ol’ whipping of Spain. From 1863 to 1865, the Dominicans and Spain fought in the Dominican Restoration War, a conflict where a rebellious Dominicans aimed to reclaim their territory from Spain. The Dominican players followed in their ancestors’ footsteps by doing everything they could to evict Spain from the baseball field territory, most notably turning on the sprinklers and passive-aggressively shouting leave during a brief 4th inning delay. Eventually the groundskeepers found the off switch.

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A Jackson Led Massacre: DC Leader Causes Trails of Tears for Nats Fans

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Shane Robinson gets real excited when his teammates give him treats. (AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)

Final Score: Cardinals 12, Nationals 2.

Dame of the Game:

Zach Duke: 1 IP, 0 H, 0 BB, 0 R. Zach, you were the only one who didn’t hurt at all last night. A compliment in baseball, a demoralizing feeling in orgies.

Shame of the Game:

Edwin Jackson: Loss, 1.1 IP, 6 H, 4 BB, 8 ER. I don’t know what’s worse. Edwin doing so poorly, or the time I nearly drowned in the ocean. Probably Edwin’s performance.

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In April, I predicted the Diamondbacks would be World Series champions. A pretty reasonable prediction, I’m betting many analysts expected a 173-0 season from them. But on Friday, my prediction was proven wrong. For you see, with the Nationals loss, the Diamondbacks were officially eliminated from playoff contention. It’s normal for the Nationals to have September losses that have such a great negative impact on other people. But before this year the negative impact wasn’t felt by other teams, but rather by fans who had to turn to greasy food to fill the happiness void in our lives. But now, we control the fate of dozens of players and thousands of fans. Tonight, we decide if Milwaukee makes it or doesn’t. I’m sure thinking that Milwaukee doesn’t deserve to make the playoffs. Unless maybe they send a little gift our way. Yovani Gallardo will probably do…

…Or cheese. Cause cheese is delicious.

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