Tag Archives: Nate Karns

Ross Ohlendorf To Start Wednesday, Karns Sent Down

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Have you always had an irrational fear that somebody is watching you? It’s not irrational.

The Karnival has left town. No more ball throwing games, no more roller coaster experiences, no more putting Davey Johnson in the dunk tank. How will we ever have fun again…

This is how: WITH ROSS FUCKING OHLENDORF. Assuming you like agricultural internships and ivy league educations. If you don’t find those fun, well, you might not have so much fun.

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Nationals Promote Nate Karns, Detwiler to DL

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Some pitchers scare hitters with their fastball. But Karns scares hitters by reminding them what could happen to their bite if they don’t wear their retainers.

Nate Karns will be called up to start Tuesday’s game vs. the Orioles. So break out your Austin Kearns jerseys and hope that everyone in attendance has dyslexia, because he deserves your support. Just don’t spend any money on him until he proves he’s better than Austin Kearns was.

It’s about time we had the Karnival come to town, because this team is not very fun to watch sometimes. Hopefully we can just sit back and enjoy some candy dipped baseballs but NO roller coasters. Please, no more roller coasters Karns. We have to deal with them every day when our bullpen comes in to pitch.

The promotion corresponds with the team finally placing Detwiler on the DL. Detwiler had been dealing with an oblique strain for quite some time, but the team was hoping that we would find out that Ross could simply have his oblique removed and we could all move on healthily. Because seriously, what does the oblique do besides sideline baseball players? I think all doctors should just remove them at birth.

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