Tag Archives: prostitution

Nats Acquire Brian Jeroloman

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This is our man. Our Jeroloman.

The Nationals have made the first big splash of the season by trading for Brian Jeroloman. Assuming you think no water displacement makes a good splash. If you don’t, then this move doesn’t mean much.

You probably don’t.

The team traded cash to Pittsburgh in exchange for Brian, adding to the list of many occasions where a DC executive has paid someone for their services. As long as he’s willing to get down on his knees and do the dirty work back there, he’ll fit in just fine.

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Fourth Spring Training Game: Washington Nationals vs. New York Wilpons

On a day in which the owners of the Mets found out that they owe so much money to victims of the Madoff ponzi scheme that the entire Mets AA team will have to spend the season selling their bodies on the street to recoup the losses, the Nationals drove another dagger into the Metropolitan heart with a 3-1 win. Even the incentive of not having to be a prostitute was not enough to spark the Mets to play like a major leaguers.

The Nationals, for their part, displayed only relief after the game. After losing two straight to the Astros, a loss to the truly pathetic Mets may have been too much to bear for some players. “Suicide prevention meeting is canceled!” shouted an ebullient Davey Johnson, who then resumed chugging his non-alcoholic beer. Yes, the Nationals will live to play another day of Spring Training.

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