Tag Archives: Randy Wolf

Detwiler Agrees to One Year Deal


Detwiler and Rizzo (in a wig with a lot of plastic surgery) agree to the deal.

Ross Detwiler and the Nationals have agreed to a contract worth $2.3375 million plus incentives for the 2013 season, avoiding arbitration. Now I know there’s a lot of criticism out there for people who spend lots of money on high end breeds. So spending over 2 million dollars on a dog like Ross¬†will be met with a lot of backlash. Sure I feel bad that there are so many poor dogs just sitting out there, begging to be taken home for nothing. Like that poor Randy Wolf-mix, or the LaBradPennydor Retriever.

But the Nationals deserve a high quality dog for their high quality team. They need one to compete on the highest level. One who can strike out a Bichon Freese or a Jack Russell Martin Terrier with ease. Because of this, I welcome the Nationals bringing back Ross. He will surely be an important part of our team, and additionally can probably help Davey Johnson do stuff around the clubhouse if Davey’s eyesight starts going.

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The Boy Who Cried, Wolf: Milwaukee Just Talkie, With Bad Showing

The jersey were actually meant to support gay marriage. But the Nationals encountered another embarrassing spelling error. (Photo by Mike McGinnis/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 4, Brewers 1.

Dame of the Game:

Corey Brown: 1-5, 1 R, 1 HR, 1 RBI. Corey probably didn’t have the best performance tonight, but he hit his first career home run. This award for him is kind of like praising a kid for his first poop on his own, even if he did it in the tub.

Shame of the Game:

Randy Wolf: Loss, 7 IP, 9 H, 1 BB, 4 ER, 6 K. Wolf is always randy. In both name, and because no baseball groupie is lining up to satisfy him given his many poor performances like this.


Today was a big day for Jordan Zimmermann, as many of his family and friends came from Jordan’s nearby home town to see him pitch. While many baseball players are very excited to play in front of family, Zimmermann worried his teammates would make a bad first impression. It’s no secret that Jordan has had trouble getting his teammates to cooperate this year. Thus, he felt worried that his family would think less of them, despite Jordan really caring about them. The situation had the potential to be like Jordan bringing home a girlfriend, only to have her shit all over the carpet and leave Jordan helpless to clean up the mess. So what happened?

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