Tag Archives: Rick Eckstein

Nationals Fire Rick Eckstein

Image

Taken shortly after the firing, before the murdering spree.

The Nationals have tried to fix their offensive woes by firing Rick Eckstein. It was a decision made by Mike Rizzo that greatly saddened Davey Johnson. Johnson was quoted as saying, “I’ve experienced a lot of things in my career. I’ve been traded, I’ve been released, I’ve seen a lot of dinosaurs, I was there for all the crusades, but today is arguably the toughest day I’ve had in baseball.”

Rick Eckstein will be irreplaceable. In that nobody could possibly lead this team to as abysmal an offensive output as he is. Sure it might be unfair to completely blame Eckstein, but he’s so small. It’s not like he could beat us up or anything for saying bad things about him.

To replace Eckstein, the team has brought up Rick Schu, the minor league hitting coordinator. I thought Rick was a Schu in to replace Eckstein, and clearly I was right. I just hope he doesn’t give us reason to Schu him off any time soon.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , ,

Opening Dayum: Nats Show Off Impressive Assets In Tight One

Image

“You see this? This is my nipple.”

Final Score: Nationals 2, Marlins 0.

Dames of the Game…s…: 

Bryce Harper: 2-4, 2 R, 2 HR, 2 RBI. Now on pace for 324 home runs this season, I’d say Harper is falling just short of expectations. But he’s young. Maybe with some more experience he’ll end up like Dmitri Young, who was once on pace for 486 home runs after Opening Day. And who was also once convicted of a crime, a key to being considered a great. Don’t believe me? Well if Lenny Dykstra and Ugueth Urbina aren’t Hall of Fame bound, then I must be completely unaware of the actual definition of the word great.

Stephen Strasburg: Win, 7 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 3 K. After a leadoff single, Strasburg retired 19 straight batters. He made the Marlins look silly. In fact, I haven’t seen a team look as pathetic as the Marlins did today since I looked at the Marlins roster yesterday, and anytime in the past 4 months.

Shame of the Game: 

Rafael Soriano: Being Rafael Soriano. What can you say about a guy like Rafael Soriano? He threw a perfect 9th, showed impressive velocity and control, and I still hate him. Some say “let bygones be bygones,” but I say “drill bygones into your mind so you can always remember who has wronged you.”

———-

The smell of freshly cut grass. The warmth from the sun’s rays. The semi-irrational hatred of millionaires that I’ve never known personally, building to its highest level since October. Yes, baseball is finally back.

The last time the Nationals took the field in a game that mattered it ended in shock, depression, and misery. Yes, that exhibition loss to the Yankees on March 29th was a real bummer. There is nothing more depressing than losing to a lineup featuring Vernon Wells and Lyle Overbay. But the team looked to move on and improve, and there were many positive signs that suggest the team will do even better in the coming year. Let’s hope these positive signs are accurate, and that the Nationals prove to be pregnant. Pregnant with quality offense, and good defense, and a placenta that I can ultimately eat so that I feel one with the organization.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Harmful Rays Burn Nats: Wang Loses Out As Price Is Too Much

Image

Rick Eckstein’s celebration turns sour as he spots his evil twin across the field (To clarify, David Eckstein kills house pets). (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Final Score: Rays 5, Nationals 4.

Dame of the Game:

Ross Detwiler: 3.2 IP, 0 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3 K. Detwiler? I barely know her! Hahaha, but seriously this guy should probably be starting and not Chien-Ming Wang. Why we rely on him to backup Wang when Chien does poorly, well, I’m at a Ross for words. I also apparently have a stereotypically Asian accent.

Shame of the Game:

Chien-Ming Wang: Loss, 3.1 IP, 7 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 1 K. The Nationals-Wang relationship in my eyes has proven to be as unfulfilling as Chien-Ming Wang’s marriage in Wang’s eyes. It’s time we remove Wang from the rotation, and stick solely to vaginas.

———-

Bryce vs. Price I. Two of the first overall picks from recent MLB Drafts faced off for the first time tonight in a highly anticipated battle. So highly anticipated, that I didn’t know it was happening until earlier today when I read someone’s tweet about it. Who won the battle of these two draft titans? Sadly the Price is right, in that Price is the correct answer to who came out on top. Price got Harper out twice while walking him once, suggesting that all teams should release their 2010 draft picks and stock up on 2007 draft picks, for they will surely be more rewarding. So hurry up and buy high on Andrew Brackman and Matt LaPorta, because while it didn’t work the first time, the law of averages will surely catch up to their careers.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2012 Washington Nationals Roster

Image

The new style for team photos has made some of the players uncomfortable.

Spring is over. The battle to be one of the last 25 standing has come to a close. While some argue that certain people didn’t deserve to make the team, and others say that some players were snubbed, the one thing I think we can all agree on is that twenty-five players have been selected.

Let’s look at the team:

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Nationals Poll of the Day!

Tagged , ,