Tag Archives: Rocky

Nationals Win 2 out of 3 Decisions vs. Philadelphia’s Rocky Team: A Phillies Series Recap

Game 1:


Ben Revere, breaking his spine. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Nationals 5, Phillies 2

Davey Johnson vowed to not shave his facial hair until the Nationals bats started hitting. I’m uncertain if this is some luck-based initiative, or if his kids stopped paying the night nurse and just left him on his own. Either way, I’m torn. For one, I like the Nationals hitting. But on the other hand, I like the idea of having a guy who looks like a germ-fearing Mr. Burns managing our team.

Many teams have turned to crafty veterans throughout the years to help lead their team to victory. But what about insane veterans? I think Davey should keep taking this superstition stuff further and further until the Nationals bats perform at a consistently high level. Some ideas…

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This Day in Expos History: July 17, 2003

Tomo Ohka was just a blurry man. People would often decide they needed to go the eye doctor after looking at him.

July 17, 2003: Philadelphia Phillies beat Montreal Expos 5-2 in 11 innings.

This one was a real heartbreaker. The boys from Montreal gave everything they had, but couldn’t walk away with a victory. Poor Tomo Ohka, who poured every fiber of his being into that 6 IP/2 R quality start. Think of Brad Wilkerson, who left it all out there on the field when he threw out Pat Burrell at home plate.  Can you find no pity in your cold, cold, feelings-less heart for Wil Cordero, who scampered home to score the game-tying run in the 6th?

And what of Rocky Biddle? Oh Rocky. The Biddler. You never gave up. You never said die. You never put the I in team. You pitched to those two batters in the 9th and 10th, and god damnit you got them out. You sonofabitch. Of course you did.

But all for naught.

All for naught because Tim Drew gave up a three-run, walk-off home run to Marlon Byrd in the bottom of the 11th, sending the Veterans Stadium crowd to their horrible homes happy and leaving the city of Montreal to wallow in anguish.

How could you, Tim Drew. They trusted you. They believed you cared about that team. They thought you’d lay down your life for them; instead, you just lay down.

For shame.

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POMeranz Wonderful: Nats Are Bad, Get Colvin in Their Stockings, Bleachers


There’s nothing that makes a player/lady run in fear like a charging Tom Gorzelanny. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Final Score: Rockies 5, Nationals 1.

Dame of the Game:

The Nationals Off-Field Staff. To my knowledge, they did everything at this game well enough. Everyone got into the stadium, got their food, etc. A job well done.

Shame of the Game:

The Nationals On-Field Staff. To my knowledge, they did everything at this game bad enough. Rockies balls left the stadium, fans threw up their food in disgust, etc. A job poorly done.


Tonight was the 5th Rockies-Nationals matchup of the season. You might remember that for the first game these two teams played this season, I recapped it by comparing it to Rocky I. For tonight’s game, I will recap it by comparing it to Rocky V. So here we go.

This game was as good as Rocky V. Rocky V was awful.

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Mile Low Showing: Trip Out West Gets Off To a Rockie Start (LOL)


“Come on Jesus, just lie down and look at the clouds with me!” (Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images)

Final Score: Rockies 4, Nationals 2.

Dame of the Game:

Jesus Flores: 3-4, 2 R, 1 2B. High altitudes clearly work well for Jesus. Either that or playing in a ballpark named after a beer. So there are two things to consider. Either Flores has a similar physical makeup to Kenyan marathon runners and thus excels with less available air, or that he drank so much Coors that the urgent feeling of needing to pee coupled with the drunken mindset that made him forget how to use a bathroom made him play with an increased urgency all game. He sure doesn’t look like a Kenyan marathon runner.

Shame of the Game:

Danny Espinosa: 0-3, 2 HBP. Not only did Danny go hitless today, but he clearly broke some ancient religious law and was sentenced to being stoned. The Rockies didn’t have stones handy, but they just turned up the level in the humidor so the baseballs felt harder.


Tonight, the first game of a 4-game series between the Nats and Rockies, had a story behind it that could be easily made into a movie. In fact…I think I’ll do just that. I’ll call it…

“Rockie.” The story of a rags to riches Nationals team, a team nobody expected to compete with the big guys the way they have. They find a tough opponent in the form of the heavyweight champion Rockies (who are only the champions at weighing a heavy amount because of Giambi’s giant gut). The Nationals have been trained and led by a relic of the past, Davey Johnson, a man who used to be a big deal in probably the 20s or something. Point is, he’s old, and nobody else thought he’d be of much value. But the Nats have proven everyone wrong by making it to this point.

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