Tag Archives: Ross Ohlendorf

Two Ross Make a Right: A Rockies Series Recap

Game 1:


The crowd applauds Jayson Werth for finally looking up. I find it amazing he never looked up before this game. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Rockies 8, Nationals 3

Every day when I go to work I experience a bit of midday exhaustion. Sitting in front of a computer can be pretty draining, so after about 5 hours my eyes feel heavy and I begin to crash. That being said, when I start getting tired, I do not break every computer in the office and burn it to the ground.

Dan Haren has a different approach of how to react to a midday crash at work. An approach that is arguably worse than burning an office building to the ground resulting in the death of dozens of employees: ALLOWING TWO HOME RUNS AND SUCKING IN GENERAL.

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Ross Ohlendorf To Start Wednesday, Karns Sent Down


Have you always had an irrational fear that somebody is watching you? It’s not irrational.

The Karnival has left town. No more ball throwing games, no more roller coaster experiences, no more putting Davey Johnson in the dunk tank. How will we ever have fun again…

This is how: WITH ROSS FUCKING OHLENDORF. Assuming you like agricultural internships and ivy league educations. If you don’t find those fun, well, you might not have so much fun.

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Add One Mann to the Earlier Signings


This Mann. I’m glad we signed him, since there’s only 500 of him out there. I just hope ours is in as nice condition as the #382 above.

Today is a huge day for minor league pitching signings in DC. Earlier we announced the signings of Ross Ohlendorf and Sean West, and now I have the pleasure in adding Brandon Mann to this new group of marginal pitching talent.

Mann has never played in the majors, but has spent a few years in Japan. Hopefully he finds his place in the Nationals organization, and maybe wins some awards along the way to put up on the Manntle.

According to the baseball card above, Mann works quickly and keeps his hands ready. While good for his defense, this has sadly never led to a long term girlfriend for Brandon.

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Nats Sign Two to Minor League Deals (We Believe in Helping the Environment, so Here’s a Recycled Headline)


Pucker up, cause our newest signing wants a kiss.

The Nationals added to their organizational depth today with the signings of Ross Ohlendorf and Sean West. Ross is a well well-traveled veteran who has spent some time in Washington during his big league career. Although he did not spend this time with the Nationals, but rather the U.S. Department of Agriculture as an intern in 2009. So while the pitching staff’s jobs might be secure, I’d watch out if I were the Nationals head groundskeeper. Ross might have some new agricultural ideas to improve things around Nationals Park.

As for Sean West, I don’t have much to say. Aside from that I find it ironic that a man who is named West has spent his entire career on the East coast.

Very very ironic.

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