Tag Archives: sabremetrics

Nationals Win 2 out of 3 Decisions vs. Philadelphia’s Rocky Team: A Phillies Series Recap

Game 1:


Ben Revere, breaking his spine. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Nationals 5, Phillies 2

Davey Johnson vowed to not shave his facial hair until the Nationals bats started hitting. I’m uncertain if this is some luck-based initiative, or if his kids stopped paying the night nurse and just left him on his own. Either way, I’m torn. For one, I like the Nationals hitting. But on the other hand, I like the idea of having a guy who looks like a germ-fearing Mr. Burns managing our team.

Many teams have turned to crafty veterans throughout the years to help lead their team to victory. But what about insane veterans? I think Davey should keep taking this superstition stuff further and further until the Nationals bats perform at a consistently high level. Some ideas…

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Cole Kimball Wins the AFL’s Stenson Award


Though many teammates are still unwilling to validate his insistance on being ready for the National Anthem at all times.

Gio may not have won the Cy Young, but a Nationals pitcher is taking home an even bigger award. That’s right, Cole Kimball has won the Stenson Award in the Arizona Fall League. Why is this award so important you ask? Well instead of recognizing Wins, ERA and Ks, it recognizes “unselfishness, hard work and leadership,” according to MLB.com. You know, some of those weird sabremetrics people aren’t quite ready to adopt yet but are much better at determining a pitcher’s value.

Kimball is working his way back from surgery in 2011, but could be a valuable member of the Nats bullpen down the line. We need another right hander now in our pen, considering Drew Storen will spend most of his game days in the stocks, with people throwing eggs at him.

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Jordan Zimmermann’s Bizarre World: Nats Start Good, End Bad, Imitate Mass Effect 3


Todd Helton is doing something so blatantly wrong in this picture. Don’t hit it right at the catcher, send it down the line! Rookie. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Final Score: Rockies 4, Nationals 3.

Dame of the Game:

Jordan Zimmermann: 7 IP, 3 H, 2 BB, 1 ER, 2 K. Despite a thorough fucking of the Rockies, Zimmermann did not receive a win. This example alone should make sabremetrics the clear victor over traditional statistics as a value of what makes a good player.

Shame of the Game:

Sean Burnett: 0 IP, 3 H, 2 ER. Despite a thorough fucking of the house, Burnett did not receive a loss. Nevermind, THIS example alone should make sabremetrics the clear victor over traditional statistics as a value of what makes a good player.


Host: It’s time to play Family Feud! Let’s get started, give me Jim, give me Davey. Let’s go!

Host: 100 people surveyed, top 5 answers on the board. Name a way you blew Sunday’s game.

*Davey buzzes in*

Davey: Bringing Sean Burnett in.

Host: Show me “Bringing Sean Burnett in!”

*Board reveals that as 5th best answer*

Host: Will you play or pass?

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