Tag Archives: San Francisco

The Moore-al of the Story: Home Runs Help Get Wins

Bryce Harper practices his right-handed golf swing. I think his hands are mixed up, though. (Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 5, Mets 3

Dame of the Game: 

Tyler Moore: 1-1, HR, 2 RBI, R. [Bonus Moore pun] Every time Moore does something good from now on, I’m going to describe it as a “Moore-ality play.” Ideally the Nats would do the same and have him battle the seven deadly sins as he rounds the bases before being greeted happily by the Virtues as he reaches home.

Shame of the Game:

Frank Francisco: 0 IP, 2 ER, 3 H, BB. San Francisco’s younger brother just never could measure up. The elder sibling became a great American city, while the younger became a bad pitcher for a bad team.

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Davey Johnson said after last night’s game that it’s “time to be looking at magic numbers.” Now, in any other context, that would be taken as the mad ramblings of a senile old man or the drugged musings of an LSD user (or in the case of Davey Johnson, probably both). I mean, “magic numbers”? Numbers tend not to have any magical properties, for two reasons: 1) they are really just abstract concepts and thus cannot have physical properties at all that could be magical, and 2) no things actually have magical properties because magic doesn’t exist. Furthermore, the idea that one could “look at” “magic numbers–things that are not viewable and couldn’t exist even if they were–seems preposterous. Continue reading

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Nats Encounter Terrible Time in Arizona, Odd Because They Aren’t All Hispanic

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John MacDonald has some fun playing soccer. With a bat. He is not bright. (Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images)

Final Score: Diamondbacks 7, Nationals 4.

Dame of the Game:

Cesar Izturis: 1-1, 1 2B, 2 R. Cesar is now 2-2 with 4 runs as a National. You may ask, why all the runs with so few at bats? And I say, bad pre-game Mexican food.

Shame of the Game:

Kurt Suzuki: 0-4, 1 E. Suzuki turned in another 0-for-4 performance, coupled with his first error as a National. He had committed many errors in Oakland however, including making himself seem valuable in some way to the Nationals.

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Ross Detwiler was sick tonight. No, he didn’t have nasty stuff. He was sick. No, he didn’t do something gross like poop in his glove and then use it. He was sick. No, he wasn’t spelled incorrectly and quoted. He was sick. He just didn’t feel well. And that showed on the mound. In more ways than just the mound being covered in sniffles and vomit. For every runner Detwiler allowed, he also gave up an earned run. Which would’ve been fine if he didn’t allow any runners. But he did. So that’s bad.

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