Tag Archives: Seattle Mariners

Mike Morse Traded to Mariners


My photoshop skills are quite good. …What do you mean he already played for Seattle and I just used this picture from those days? That’s nonsense.

Mike Morse has been traded to the Mariners as part of a 3-team deal with Oakland. Details were reported by Adam Kilgore. It’s sad that Mike is gone from the team, but what could you expect? He kept telling people to “Take on me, take me on,” it was only a matter of time before someone listened and actually took him. He also warned us that he’d be gone in a day or two, so we can’t act like we didn’t see this coming.

The trade breaks down as follows: Washington gets A.J. Cole back, plus a “good” prospect and PTBNL (from Oakland) according to Amanda Comak. Seattle receives Mike Morse. Oakland receives John Jaso. It’s nice seeing Cole come back, having traded him away in the Gio trade. He’s a talented prospect, and I’m sure Cole will power us to victories down the line, even if it’s bad for the environment. If he makes it to the bigs, it’ll be interesting to see what proves to be the greater, cheaper source of energy for the team, Clean Cole or Gio-thermal energy.

As for Morse, you’ll be missed. Thank you for your contributions to this team the past few years. I hope you find success in Safeco. Although, it is a much more pitcher-friendly ballpark. Those phantom grand slams might be a little harder to hit out.

Update: Blake Treinen will be coming over from the Athletics as one of the 2 previously unnamed players, reports Jon Heyman. I hope Blake has been Treinen hard during the offseason and will be ready to show off in the coming season.

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Zambrano-a-mano: Ankiel Powers Nats As Other Bats Fall Silent


Storen watching today's action. He won't take the ball until Johnson says "OK." He's a very well trained man.
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Final Score: Nationals 2, Marlins 0.

Dame of the Game:

CO-WINNERS! OH MY GOD CO-WINNERS! It was just too hard to pick today so we’re pulling a little league award ceremony move and giving a bunch of people trophies.

Ross Detwiler: 6 IP, 3 H, 1 BB, 7 K, 0 R. The Rottwiler is clearly trained very poorly because he shat all over the Marlins players today. While dog shit is often frowned upon, the Nationals quite appreciated it today. Detwiler was given a big steak, had his belly rubbed by Mike Rizzo, and was presented with a bunch of female dogs to hump as he pleased. Things got awkward…

Rick Ankiel: 3-3, 2 R, 1 HR, 1 2B, 1 RBI. Ankiel was the only good thing about the offense today, nearly single handedly helping the team to victory. His “bat” “came” in handy early, as “The Excessive Masturbator” jacked one out. He also had a celebratory masturbation session after the game.

Shame of the Game:

The Nationals Offense Minus Rick Ankiel: 1-25, 1 BB, 1 RBI, 8 K. Carlos Zambrano manhandled this team worse than his own career, throwing 7 perfect innings to all those who weren’t named Ankiel. To those who were named Ankiel, Zambrano threw a nice exclusive get together with an open bar. How nice of him.

Let’s look at today’s game and say what was good about it.

  • The Starting Pitching
  • The Bullpen

Let’s look at today’s game and say what was bad about it.

  • The Offense

Let’s look at the two “let’s look ats” above this “let’s look at” and say how many games it could apply to this season.

  • Pretty much every one.
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The Baseball Season Began Today! Really Really Really Early Today!


Dustin Ackley and manager Eric Wedge show their excitement over the new business deal they have completed.

Today is a big day, as it marks the beginning of the baseball season. While advertising on ESPN suggests that the big day will be April 4th, as the Cardinals take on the Marlins, the season opened up today in Japan, as the Mariners took on the Athletics. The Mariners ended up winning 3-1 in 11 innings.

I took in the game the traditional way many people mark in Opening Day… struggling to keep my eyes open after getting much too little sleep, all the while not wearing pants.

Yes, the game began at 6 AM ET, which doesn’t work too well when you like sleep. But it was a thrilling thing to happen nonetheless. The Nationals season opens just over a week from now and by that time, hopefully I’ll have gotten enough sleep that I deem putting pants on to be worth it. But let’s be honest, it’s never really worth it.

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