Tag Archives: sharks

Dunn Dunn… Dunn Dunn…: Jaws Drop as Nats Attack in 8th

Final Score: Nationals 10, Marlins 7.

Dame of the Game:

Adam LaRoche: 2-4, 3 R, 2 HR, 2 RBI. Adam hit two home runs and reached on a crucial error, showing a nice mix of power and luck. He would do well at a casino, in that Lady Luck would be on his side, and he could also just punch dealers until they give him money.

Shame of the Game:

Michael Dunn: .2 IP, 4 H, 1 BB, 6 R, 0 ER, 1 K, 1 E. None of Dunn’s runs were technically earned, but they came after his fielding error. If every pitcher did like Dunn and began the inning with an embarrassing error, they would have a fantastic ERA. They would also be very bad.

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A little mistake can spiral out of control. Like signing with the Phillies, or reproducing while having the last name Gorzelanny, things may not look terrible at first. But you will soon pay a great price. Today, Michael Dunn made a little error. No biggie, Marlins still up by 2. 1. 0. -1. -2. -3. -4. Well that escalated quickly.

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Boston’s Sad Swan (Boat) Song Sweeps Fans Off Feet, Team Off Field

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Ian Desmond’s interpretive dance routine caused a 23 minute delay and a decline in attendance. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 4, Red Sox 3.

Dame of the Game:

Roger Bernadina: 2-4, 1 2B, 1 RBI, 1 SB. Bernadina got the game winning hit, driving in Harper in the top of the 9th with his clutch double. His hit was certainly helped by the hustle of the great, white, Bryce Harper. Shark’s blow felt like a hammer to the head for Red Sox fans, who were already nursing their emotional injuries from failing so far. It was a whale of a loss for Boston, leading to a Nationals sweep. I’m sure the Sox hope they could mako something out of this final game, but they left feeling blue.

Shame of the Game:

Alfredo Aceves: Loss, 1 IP, 1 H, 1 BB, 1 ER, 1 K. For a man named after a pasta dish, Aceves surely doesn’t satisfy the Red Sox fanbase in a similar way. Some would say that’s cause he’s not beer and that’s all people from Boston consume, others would say it’s cause he keeps blowing games and is 0-4 on the season. I guess you could say that Alfredo is a real ace in the hole for the Sox. The butthole! Cause he pitches kind of like shit.

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The Boston Tea Party. The ride of Paul Revere. The Nationals mid-June 2012 sweep of the Red Sox. In increasing importance, these three events are some of the most iconic happenings in Boston’s history. Washington came into Boston, despite the many minorities on their team that the people there frown upon, and took all three games. Some will say the only reason the Nationals were so dominant is because the Red Sox senses were dulled by their in-game meals. At this point though, I think soberness and healthy food is more of a shock to their system than the current game plan.

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2012 Nationals Player Profile: Roger Bernadina

Roger Bernadina needs a deadlier nickname.

Roger Bernadina, through the efforts of some enterprising and right-thinking Nats fans, has earned the nickname “the Shark” or “Sharkadina” for his abilities at tracking down baseballs in the outfield and subsequently tearing them to shreds with his teeth. Sadly, however, Bernadina has yet to put together the breakout offensive season that many Nats fans have hoped for. The problem may be that while sharks seem dangerous, fatalities due to shark attacks are actually extremely rare. In fact, there is only an average of about one shark-related death in the U.S. per year.

In order to inspire Roger to greater fearsomeness and offensive productivity, it may be time to give him a nickname that’s really dangerous. There are many things that kill more people than sharks which Roger could be nicknamed after. Here are some possible nicknames, along with home run calls that could accompany them: Continue reading

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