Tag Archives: Soap Opera in the Outfield

Nats Explore the Hudson, Discover Runs, Kill Natives

“Ahhhhh, this is relaxing” (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 7, Braves 4

Dame of the Game:

Chien-Ming Wang: 3 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, Win. Okay, so he allowed two inherited runners to score and let Jayson Heyward have his way with him, but he got a win in his 2012 debut! Chien-Ming Wang: 1-0. A sight for Wangless eyes.

Shame of the Game:

Chien-Ming Wang: But, he also cheated on his wife. He must be punished for his immorality, and what better punishment than a Shame of the Game? Once he has accepted this just penance, he will be absolved of his crime in the eyes of me, God, and presumably his wife.

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The Nationals played their first game against their biggest divisional rivals last night, the Atlanta Braves. Atlanta fought bravely, but even great courage was no match for the superior skill exhibited by the Nats, and the Braves found themselves with no win and no scalps.

It was a big day for Rick “Santorum” Ankiel, who got his Game On and went 2-4 with a triple, 2 RBIs, and hundreds of gay people made unhappy. Assuming that there are hundreds of gay Braves fans, of course.

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