Tag Archives: starvation

Erik Davis Called Up, Harper to DL, Rendon to AAA

Image

So he’s just Clippard without glasses?

After much speculation, a series of moves have taken place for the Nationals which threaten to reshape the game of baseball as we know it. Reshape in a very small way, like maybe make a half a millimeter dent in it.

Firstly, the Nationals called up relief pitcher Erik Davis. Unfortunately this is not former ballplayer Eric Davis, but it would’ve been silly to think it was. They look so different. Erik is 6’2″ 190 lbs, while Eric is 6’2″ 165 lbs.

Erik has put up solid numbers in Syracuse this season, and will be a welcome addition to a shaky Nationals pen. We’ve gotta do our best to make sure our pen isn’t as shaky down the line. We might get points off for poor penmanship.

To make room for Erik, the team put Bryce Harper on the DL. Now I know you might be very depressed, thinking that Harper’s career could end up being plagued with injuries, but let me tell you this. Every year, over 7 million children die from starvation. I just thought you should know. Since you’re already depressed about Harper, I figured it wouldn’t bum you out any worse.

Lastly, with room in Syracuse, the Nats promoted Anthony Rendon to AAA. Word has it that Rendon will try his hand at 2B, meaning that Danny Espinosa might be in trouble. I would tell him to shape up at some point this season or we’ll hand him his walking papers, but since he doesn’t walk we might have to try and find a new way to get rid of him.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Nationals Activate Desmond, DFA Izturis

Image

Cesar doesn’t know how to react to the news when he arrives at the ballpark. Not that he was DFA’d, but that he wore the wrong clothes.

Ian Desmond has made his way back from the DL a lot sooner than people anticipated. In fact, it’s the quickest he’s done anything since turning us all against him after a promising 2009. But actually, his presence will be a big boost for this lineup. Not cause Ian is good or anything, but cause he often offers to have players sit on his lap at dinner tables if they need a booster seat and don’t have adult size. He says he likes the warmth or something. He’s weird.

With Ian’s return, we lose Cesar Izturis. Cesar possessed a skill that other Nationals shortstops lacked: defensive competence. It will be sad to have grounder after grounder to short be carelessly bobbled or thrown away by Desmond or Espinosa or whoever is playing there. But we can take solace in one thing. And that’s returning this majestic creature, Cesar, back to the wild. Sure he won’t have money, or a job, but he’ll have his freedom. And isn’t that what we all deserve?

Oh, he has a family to support? Sorry about ruining all that, Cesar.

Tagged , , , , ,

Nats Continue Medlen with Braves: Minor Effort Drops Atlanta to 4th

Image

“Mommy, mommy! Get it away!” (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Final Score: Nationals 8, Braves 4.

Dame of the Game:

Danny Espinosa: 2-5, 2 R, 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 RBI. Usually if a manager says I’m going to put someone with a .650 OPS in the leadoff spot, you’d say “No, Dusty. I don’t know why we hired you and Neifi in the first place.” Today Johnson’s gamble paid off. It probably won’t tomorrow though so let’s just get him out of that spot.

Shame of the Game: (Tonight’s Shame of the Game will be written by guest poster Henry Rodriguez)

Tyler Clippard: Save, .2 IP, 1 K. Tyler Clippard is a bad person. His three near perfect saves are much worse than me because I like to have fun and make things interesting. Now my wife won’t talk to me because she has eyes for Tyler. Please give me food, nobody will.

———-

Today, Stephen Strasburg did what everybody expected. Expected Bryce Harper to do, that is, going 1-2 and bumping his OPS up to 1.143. His pitching line included allowing 4 ER for the second time in three starts. John Lannan, maybe there will be a spot in the rotation after all if we move Strasburg to fill the hole in left… I’m just kidding John. Sorry to get your hopes up, although I imagine there aren’t any to get up after all your hopes and dreams were shattered when being demoted to AAA.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,