Tag Archives: surgery

Zimmerman and Tracy Undergo Arthroscopic Surgery


Ryan’s was to take care of that bad underbite.

Two Nationals underwent arthroscopic surgery on Thursday. It can be certainly be scary when our franchise player undergoes any sort of surgery, but it seems that Chad Tracy will end up just fine.

Oh yeah, Ryan too.

Zimmerman underwent surgery on his shoulder which had plagued him for much of the season. However he excelled after getting cortisone shots throughout the year. I don’t know if the surgery was necessary, I think living on the edge of something severe was working well for Ryan. As long as he could just get a shot and make things better. Much like the many people having unprotected sex throughout the 60s.

Ryan is expected to recover in 6 weeks, which is good for him. With the pain of blowing the NLDS surely to stick around long after then, he will finally be able to lift his arm to his face without pain to wipe away the tears. Physical pain that is. The emotional scarring will last forever.

Chad is expected to make a full recovery from surgery on his knee by spring training. Again, why fix it? Having bad knees has worked well for pinch hitters in the past.

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Sean Burnett to Undergo Surgery


Probably to get that cancerous lump removed. Otherwise known as his throwing arm.

Well, here’s the first story of the offseason. And what better way to kick off a miserable wait for baseball again than with a story about Sean Burnett. Sean is set to have a bone spur removed, which people are saying might have impacted his performance in the Division Series. I don’t think it did. He was as bad as I expected.

The team has a mutual option for next season, so it’s an uncertainty as to if Burnett will be back in Washington next season. He’s spent four long years here, half the team’s existence. What will happen to Washington without him? Well, property values will probably skyrocket, with potential homeowners not having to worry anymore about Sean doing what he does best. If this is the last we’ve seen of Sean, then let me just say one final thing to him…

Sean. You will be missed. By the many Washington fans looking for players to hold accountable for this loss.

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If This Were the Olympics He’d Be Medlen’: Nats Can’t Top Golden Kris

Ross Detwiler is a towelhead. Wait, is that racist? (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Final Score: Braves 5, Nationals 1

Dame of the Game:

Craig Stammen: 1.2 IP, 0 ER, K. The fact is, middle relievers only have a chance at this most prestigious award in games that suck. If neither the starting pitcher nor anyone on the offense did anything to stand out, forcing me to delve into the nether reaches of the box score for a Dame, it probably means either the Nats lost or they were playing the Astros. Sadly, they were not playing the Astros.

Shame of the Game:

Kurt Suzuki: 0-4, K, Error. I want to love you, Kurt Suzuki, but sometimes you make lovingĀ so hard.


Ugh, I’ve been trying to sweep my floor all day, but I think my brooms are defective. Random side note, had to complain about that to someone. You’d think with all this fancy modern technology they’d be able to make brooms thatĀ work, you know?

A dirty floor isn’t the worst of my problems. The Nats lost to the Braves last night, in a game that, had they won, would have put Atlanta practically out of reach of the division title at 8 games back. Sometimes it’s important to put things out of the reach of children, like cookies, guns, and sex toys. The division crown will still be tough for the Braves to grab, but they can at least see it, which means they might be tempted to do something crazy and dangerous like buy a ladder or win all the rest of their games. It would have been safer for everyone if the Nats had not given them the option. Continue reading

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Detwiler Back To Rotation As Wang Goes Back To The Pen (15 Club)

Detwiler, smiling, after telling Wang the news. Wang, disgusted, after smelling the fart that Ross also let go.

Ross Detwiler is a starter again, beating Wang in a way clearly more successful than Chien’s wife used to. Johnson made the decision to lessen his trust in Wang, suggesting that Davey’s bisexual experiment was not a success.

It is a logical decision, as Detwiler continually set the bar high in his appearances for our Chien to meet, which is really mean because chin ups are hard even at a low height. After a relatively straightforward path back to the rotation from injury, it is clear Wang has taken a sharp unexpected turn. But I’m pretty sure there’s some sort of surgery that could fix that.

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