Tag Archives: Syracuse Chiefs

Goodbye, John Lannan


Enjoy your new career as a dog groomer.

Bill Ladson is reporting that the Nationals have non-tendered John Lannan. After bringing in Gio and Jackson last season, and with Detwiler outperforming expectations, Lannan sadly didn’t have a spot in our rotation. Going into next year, he still has no spot. Yes, we only have 4 starters. But Strasburg likes to stretch his legs, so its important he gets some extra room.

Earlier this year when profiling Lannan, I used the similarly-named John Lennon’s obituary as a template. Thus with Lannan leaving Washington, I feel its appropriate to provide you with the song that Paul McCartney created shortly after Lennon left us. The only difference in the song’s message is that while McCartney might be crying tears of grief, I’m crying tears of happiness that we don’t have to pay $5 million to a Chief anymore.

Lannan will be missed though. A lifelong Nat after being drafted in this team’s first ever season in 2005, Lannan has played for this system his entire career. I just hope someone steps up and brings him into their home. He’s a good hearted creature. He’s got all his shots and I’m pretty sure he’s potty trained. He loves with playing with balls, and will be sure to put smiles on kids faces. Someone please adopt him, and give him a good home.

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Welcome Our September Call Ups!


They’re so excited to get started!

It’s September again, and you know what that means. New call ups! Sure it can be a little intimidating coming into a new situation like this, but hopefully fellow students, of the game, will help them adjust. To get to know all these new players, I handed out “Getting to Know You” cards for them to fill out and share with the class. So let’s see what they said.

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Nationals Sign Koyie Hill


While many have moved on from spanking techniques, Hill still strongly believes in using it for discipline.

The Nationals signed long-time backup catcher Koyie Hill to a minor league contract today, and will have him report to Syracuse. He was offered a major league deal, but wanted no part in catching games for the major league club. He has a family, and just didn’t want to put his life on the line like that.

With Koyie now in the Washington organization, I think it’s only right that we bestow the nickname “Capitol” Hill upon him. Whenever he plays games, it’ll take forever to throw one pitch and get anything done due to constant pointless arguments between him and members of the opposing teams.

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Marlins’ Johnson Bests Nats’ Wang: Washington Loses in Game of Inches


Unlike Manny Ramirez, Heath Bell doesn’t walk behind the outfield wall to take care of his business. (AP Photo/Jeffrey Boan)

Final Score: Marlins 5, Nationals 3.

Dame of the Game:

Roger Bernadina: 1-2, 1 BB, 1 Sac Fly, 2 RBI. Shark attacks occasionally occur in the Miami area. Today we were witness to one of the worst ever recorded. While many have been murdered, dismembered, and other horrible things, the Marlins tonight experienced the worst of it, being mildly threatened by Bernadina in what turned out to ultimately be a losing effort on his part. A horrific and bloody scene, no doubt.

Shame of the Game:

Ryan Perry: .1 IP, 2 H, 1 ER. You tried pitching to Giancarlo Stanton. You are not an intelligent man.


The Nationals must have hired a maid, because we’re no longer the ones doing the sweeping. One series after sweeping Atlanta, the Nationals got a taste of their own medicine at the hands of the Marlins. We’re not quite sure what caused this, but most likely some horrible mutation. Marlins should not have hands. Miami sits just a half game out of first, worrying fans there who know the only way to win a World Series in Miami is by not winning the division. They better start losing if they hope to reach the pinnacle of baseball. (Yes, that’s a convincing enough set of sentences to make them start purposely losing. You can thank me later, NL East.)

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Down on the Farm


The Syracuse Chiefs' clubhouse.

Lots of people have been paying attention to what’s going on with the Nationals big league club getting off to a great start to the season. But for every team it’s important to pay attention to what’s happening down on the farm. So what’s happening for the Nats in their farm system?


All the minor league coaches agreed that the name was misleading. So rather than changing “farm system” to something else, they’ve replaced all baseballs with tomatoes.

More farm news after the break.

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Shit is Going Down in Natstown: Lannan Optioned to AAA?


"da fuk?"

Holy hell what is happening? Just when you thought the only roster decisions left to be made were which slice of Brad Tracheus to discard, the Nationals are going to have a new five starter. As Adam Kilgore reported, the Nationals will likely option John Lannan to Syracuse, leaving a hole in the fifth starter spot that will probably be filled by Ross Detwiler, but at this point who the fuck knows?

I think I speak for everyone in Natstown when I say that this is relatively insignificant, I mean we’ll be winning everytime we send our 1 through 4 starters out there anyway, so whoever is 5 doesn’t matter.

But still. What has changed the Nationals mind? Drugs? Probably drugs.

More on this to come as we get it. (Saying that made me feel like a big time reporter man.)

UPDATE: It’s official. The Nationals are going to be paying John Lannan $5 million to give Bryce Harper foot massages in Syracuse while the Rotwiler slobbers all over the fifth starter’s job. It’s a shocking case of the Nats picking high ceiling over experience, but you know what they say about high ceilings–they’re tough to clean without ladders.

I have nothing particularly against John Lannan, but I can’t resist…





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Nationals Sign Zach Duke


Duke expressing his excitement.

*Horn call*

The Duke has arrived! The Duke of Zachs, once the great ruler of the Pittsburgh Pirates’ mound, has been brought to Washington to rule over some place very far away from Washington. This Duke, unlike most dukes, will actually have very little power and acclaim, as he provides rotation depth in Syracuse, knowing that there is absolutely no spot for him on the big league team.

No matter how poorly he performs or how little the team thinks of him, he will still somehow hold a higher rank than all of the Marquises who have been on the Nationals.


This one would still come out on top in a beauty contest though.

*Horn call*

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2012 Nationals Player Profile: Stephen Strasburg


Strasburg, after enjoying a Stras-berry Pie.

Stephen Strasburg is the most exciting player on the Nationals. So exciting that people in the food industry take notice. Back in 2010, around the time of Strasburg’s major league debut, a DC location of The Burger Joint unveiled the “Strasburger.” The burger had features that represented many of the stops of Strasburg’s career up to that point. There was of course a beef patty and bun, but also a hot dog that represented Strasburg’s pro baseball debut with the Phoenix Desert Dogs, “Syracuse orange” cheddar cheese that reflected his time in the Nats minor league system in Syracuse, and 14 pickles, one for every strikeout in his major league debut.

While The Burger Joint’s efforts were in the right place, I feel that we should honor Strasburg with a burger that reflects more of the man he is, and what he’s accomplished on the diamond.

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Nationals sign Xavier Nady


Both Nady and his trainer came to the conclusion that shirts don't always tell the truth.

The Nationals signed veteran outfielder Xavier Nady to a minor league deal today, giving them a bit of insurance in the wake of the multiple injuries the team is dealing with. Nady won’t attend big league camp, and will begin the year in AAA Syracuse. He spent 82 games last season with the Arizona Diamondbacks, and didn’t play a full season after being pulled over and arrested for not looking white enough.

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