Tag Archives: Taiwan

Taip-ei Diabetes: Cuba Kills Opponents With Sugar

Tragically, the elderly Diaz did not survive his ill-conceived attempt to block the plate.

Tragically, the elderly Diaz did not survive his ill-conceived attempt to block the plate.

Final Score: Cuba 14, Chinese Taipei 0

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: Cuba severs diplomatic ties with Taiwan in 1960


This game was a bit…one sided. Like a one-sided die that’s just a marble that says “Cuba Wins” all over it. They really could have just rolled that die before the game to decide the winner and saved themselves the trouble.

If the theme of our World Baseball Classic coverage was to use major league players hailing from the countries involved as a metaphor for the game, this game would’ve been Aroldis Chapman and Chien-Ming Wang trying to see who can throw harder. But it’s not. So HERE’S SOME FUCKING HISTORY. Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Kang-aroo Jack: Home Run Gives Korea Insufficient Win

Jungho Kang points out to his opponents where the real China is.

Jungho Kang points out to his opponents where the real China is

Final Score: Korea 3, Chinese Taipei 2

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The intense baseball rivalry that apparently exists between Korea and Taiwan


Bottom of the 8th. One on, two out. Korea down by a run. Up steps the Korean third baseman, Jungho Kang. All the eyes of Asia, [racist joke redacted], are upon him. The pitch comes in, and Kang gives it a mighty wallop. Up, up and away it flies, deep into the night. The ball keeps traveling without regard for outfielder or fence. As it landed in the seats, every Korean south of the DMZ erupted in joy (not to be confused with the simultaneous eruption in North Korea, which was just another underground nuclear weapons test).

Korea had taken the lead 3-2, and would go on to win the game by the same score. An Instant World Baseball Classic, no? No. You see, the victory merely put Korea into a three-way tie with Chinese Taipei and the Netherlands for the two second round spots from Pool B. Korea had the worst run differential in games against the other two teams, so they’re out of the tournament.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Chinese Taipeiback: Dutch Colonists, Pitches are Overthrown

Throwback uniform day was met with mixed reactions from the players.

Throwback uniform day was met with mixed reactions from the players.

Final Score: Chinese Taipei 8, Netherlands 3

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The Sino-Dutch War of 1661


Once upon a time, the Kingdom of the Netherlands was one of the most powerful nations in the world. Their small size belied their prodigious talents, and they were able to build an empire on the backs of many non-European peoples.

I am, of course, referring to the Dutch team in the 2009 World Baseball Classic, when the men of Orange twice defeated the Dominican Republic in dramatic fashion to win their pool and advance to the round of eight. Oh, and also the golden age of Dutch naval and mercantile power in the 17th century.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

If it Feels So Right, How Can it Be Wang?: A Disabled List Love Story

“Taiwant you so bad,” whispers Cyndi in the ear of a sweat-glistened Chien-Ming Wang. The bar reeks of desperation and despair, and no hopeless scent is more acrid than Wang’s. He has just been non-tendered by the New York Yankees, following a miserable injury-plagued season and a half. But Cyndi’s gentle touch on his shoulder is the opposite of non-tender.

His shoulder. The reason why his $5 million contract is gone. It has still not fully recovered from the season-ending surgery he underwent in June. Wang shivers, and he doesn’t know if it’s from the sadness or the desire. Cyndi clearly thinks it’s the latter, giving him a wink as she retreats behind the bar to take another customer’s order. Wang puts his head in his hands. He can’t do this. He has a wife and a young daughter. How could he live with himself if he betrayed them? And yet…his career might be over. Nothing in life seems to give him satisfaction anymore. Maybe he needs Cyndi.

She whirls back around to face him and hands him another drink. “So, what do you do?” she asks. “I…uh…sell cars.” Want doesn’t want to disclose his true identity. “What kind of cars?” “Uh…mostly…gray cars. With doors.” She nods and smiles. He’s not sure if she believes him or not. “My shift is over. Want to get out of here?”

Wang wants. Cyndi leads him out of the bar, grinning at him. “I can’t wait,” she tells him breathlessly, “let’s run to my home!”

“NO!” shouts Wang, his eyes filled with fear. The last time he ran home he sustained a season ending injury in Houston. Cyndi is taken aback, but doesn’t ask for an explanation. “Let’s just walk. Carefully.” She agrees.

They are in her bed, ripping each other’s clothing off like . Nothing stands between their naked flesh but the last shreds of Wang’s guilt. Continue reading

Tagged , , , ,