Final Score: Mets 7, Nationals 1
Belle of the Ball: I don’t know…Jesus? I mean he died for our sins, and there was nothing more sinful than this game. Shows real dedication to the team to die for an early season loss.
Smell of the Ball: Where do I begin? Oh, Ian Desmond. That’s where. Yeah, this was a near full 25-man all around sucking effort, but Desmond’s error on the first Mets batter made me realize I was about to sit through one of the worst experiences of my life. And I’ve seen Norbit.
…That was a lie. Nobody saw Norbit.
I love attending Nationals games. I hate attending extended sessions of grown men shitting all over the place and ruining my night. Tonight, thinking I was attending the former, I sadly attended the latter. It is an easy mistake to make though. If only they made the announcements on the NYC Subway sound clearer, maybe I would’ve correctly gotten off at Mets – Willets Point instead of Awful – Poop Central.