Tag Archives: treasure

Once, Twice, Three Times a Loser: Puerto Rico Cedes WBC to Dominicans, Surprising Nobody

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It turned out to be far too late to get out of the way of the seagull poop.

Final Score: Dominican Republic 3, Puerto Rico 0.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: The 2013 World Baseball Classic.

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There are two types of people who don’t like the World Baseball Classic. People who don’t smile, and comedy blog writers who are creating posts that parallel historic events between nations. We fall more into the latter, although I’ve had trouble raising the corners of my mouth since Game 5.

The WBC Final was a matchup between the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, two teams who had already met twice before in this tournament. We had already run thin on metaphors given the surprisingly limited series of conflicts between the two nearby islands, exaggerating some unwanted immigration for the first matchup and then basically fabricating a battle over tourism for the 2nd DR-PR meeting. So for the third and final all-Caribbean faceoff we had to think outside the box. And we thought so outside the box that we came all the way back inside the box.

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Win-mills: Dutch Grind Out Another Win Vs. Favorite

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After a long, frustrating search, the athletic trainer for the Netherlands found the baseball they lost in the woods.

Final Score: Netherlands 6, Cuba 2.

World Baseball Conflict of the Game: Piet Hein’s capturing of a Spanish treasure fleet in Havana harbors.

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Cuba knew, even before Thursday’s game, not to take the Dutch for granted. Much like the captured Dutch cabin boy who in the 1620s warned the Spaniards of a Dutch attack on Cuba’s harbors shortly before it came, the Dutch underdog victories in 2006 and 2009 had alerted Cuba that the Netherlands were out to conquer all.

In 1628, Dutch Admiral Piet Pieterszoon Hein…for those of who didn’t read that name once, please: Piet Pieterszoon Hein…thank you…commanded a fleet in an effort to raid a Spanish treasure fleet in a Cuban harbor. There was great wealth to be had and beautiful prizes to be claimed, much like the World Baseball Classic championship trophy. The mindset of the Dutch people has not changed in nearly 400 years. It continues to be, “Get everything shiny, and that’s enough for me.”

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