Tag Archives: walks

Nats Finish Series 1 Game Under .500, Delight Fans Who Still Think It’s 2007: A Braves Series Recap

Game 1:

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Stephen knew what time it was. It was time for Steve. (Photo by Scott Cunningham/Getty Images)

Nationals 3, Braves 2

A win over the Braves. Nothing bad about this game. Everything is all good.

I’m sorry, I must be delusional from all the blood loss I’ve experienced from cutting my wrists open after Strasburg left the game early. Well no worries. This magical unicorn doctor will fix that. Won’t you, Dr. Trinket? No? You’re actually my kitchen table? Ok then, I’ll try to compose myself.

Now my gut reaction to this injury was bad. Since I also tried to commit seppuku out of depression, and my guts spilled everywhere. But since the injury has happened, we’ve learned some things. Strasburg won’t go on the DL yet, and it’s turned out to be a grade one lat strain, which is somewhat good news. Grade one is better than other grades in terms of severity, and also you’re still young enough that your teacher might bring in juice boxes from everyone. Hopefully Stras can recover so we can turn this team back into the middling .500 club that it deserves to be.

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1 Is The Loneliest Number That You’ll Ever Hit: A Reds Series Recap

Game 1:

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Gio and this female reporter have very different reactions to being covered in urine. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Nationals 8, Reds 1

I had my iTunes playlist all ready for Gio’s start. Songs like “Walk This Way,” “These Boots Are Made For Walking,” “Walking On Sunshine,” and many more tunes that would make paraplegics very depressed, were all primed up and ready to be played every time Gio walked a batter. And wouldn’t you know it, Gio lacked control yet again. He walked DOUBLE the amount of players that he allowed hits to. That’s right, TWO walks, and-¬†Oh. He threw an 8 inning 1 hitter? That’s pretty awesome. Knowing Gio had such a good game relaxes me more than those other 1 hitters filled with pot.

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