Tag Archives: Wil Nieves

Nats Clinch Playoff Spot

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Not this one. Anyone can go to this playoff spot. Well, not this season actually.

We have done it. The Washington Nationals are postseason bound for the first time in this team’s history. From 2005-2011, this team “worked hard” to make the playoffs. At least that’s what they say. But signing people like Elijah Dukes and Wil Nieves suggested they wanted to be anywhere but the postseason.

However this season has been special, and now the team is guaranteed to play October baseball. Oh, yeah I guess that’s been a guarantee ever since the regular season was scheduled to run a little late this year. But playing the Phillies is not so much meaningful nowadays as it is traumatizing. How am I supposed to explain to my child that people can smell as bad and be as ugly as them? Please think of an alternative to letting him watch Tom Gorzelanny appearances. That would be even more frightening.

It’s the first playoff appearance for the franchise since 1981, and the first for a Washington team since 1933, just around Davey Johnson’s college graduation. Hopefully a division title is just around the corner, because if it isn’t then we’ll have to play a wildcard tiebreaker. And if you think that’s not a big deal, well guess what. No team has ever won a wildcard tiebreaker. That’s how tough it is.

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No More Mr. Niese Guy: Mets Are Mean, Don’t Share Runs

David Wright couldn’t stop giggling after Jesus Flores told him the punchline to “why did the chicken cross the road.” This would have been an effective strategy for getting him not to swing, except that he walked. (Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Final Score: Mets 2, Nationals 0

Dame of the Game:

Edwin Jackson: 2 ER, 2 H, BB, 11 K. Jackson should spend less time hanging out with Jordan Zimmerman, that lack of run support seems to be contagious. At the very least they should stop sharing the same fork at postgame meals.

Shame of the Game:

Michael Morse: 0-4, 3 K. The hitting streak is finally over, and Joe DiMaggio is safe. I’m still holding out hope that, through the sheer vagaries of chance, the record will one day be broken by some terrible player that no one would have otherwise wanted to remember. Like, I dunno, Wil Nieves.

——–

Nothingness.

The absence of matter. The inky blackness of the void. The fate that ultimately awaits us all. The Nationals offense in this game.

I could take the easy way out and say that the rest of this post will be a metaphor for Washington’s offensive performance and just stop writing words here. We’ve done something like that when the Nats got shutout 2-0 before, after all. But that would be cowardly. I have to stand up and face this miserable loss like a man. Then while I’m at it, I should confront the reality of my mortality.  Continue reading

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