Tag Archives: Wilson Ramos

Washington Nationals and Their Run-ins with Crime

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Never rear-end a guy who’s head is shaped like a box.

Earlier today, Nationals manager Matt Williams was involved in a hit and run accident while giving an interview to a DC radio station. While you would think something like this is uncommon, it has in fact happened many times throughout the years to members of the Nationals. Below is a list of some of the more memorable times when Nationals players had a run in with the law while on the air.

1. While giving a phone interview while walking through downtown DC, Jordan Zimmermann’s backpack was snatched by a man running by. However Jordan was able to successfully catch the thief after getting him to slow down to a walking pace, since Jordan doesn’t allow any runs.

2. During a Skype interview in the comfort of his own home, Rafael Soriano experienced a case of breaking and entering. The criminal was successful in kidnapping Soriano’s family, after Rafael blew the chance to save them.

3. In a similar case to Williams, Wilson Ramos also dealt with a hit and run while giving an interview while driving. However unlike Williams, Ramos was critically injured, broke every bone in his body and now uses several colostomy bags.

4. In a post-game locker room interview, the entire Nationals team was cited for indecent exposure. They are now required to wear bathing suits in the shower.

5. While giving an interview together during a goodwill trip to the Middle East, Tyler Clippard and Drew Storen were arrested and sentenced to death after being mistaken for a gay couple. They were later freed and returned to the U.S., where they continue to live together, work together, and share a twin bed together.

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Wilson Ramos Breaks His Hand On Opening Day

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Jose, don’t look so sad. You’re our starter now.

Despite a miraculous an inevitable comeback win vs. the Mets on Opening Day, news for the Nationals isn’t all good. James Wagner reports that Wilson Ramos left today’s game with a broken hand.

This injury marks the earliest appearance of the Curse of the Catcher in a regular season game. While we don’t know how long Ramos will be out for, we do know that Jose Lobaton is about to stuffed down our throats. So if you’re already eating something, finish chewing it quickly.

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Are Our Catchers Horribly Injured? Wilson Ramos Injury Edition

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“I’ll take one injury please.”

Wilson Ramos is injured and going to the DL. It’s time for another edition of “Are Our Catchers Horribly Injured?”

Wilson Ramos: Ramos has a strained left hamstring, but the team believes that he could only miss the minimum amount of time on the DL. Well I believe that JFK was assassinated by a lobster that clamped down on a trigger accidentally, but a lot of people call me crazy for that.

Kurt Suzuki: Suzukis never break down, as long as you maintain them properly. That’s why the team changes Suzuki’s oil every few weeks.

Jhonatan Solano: Solano returns to the team with Ramos going down. He had to be hogtied and carried by a bunch of heavies since he resisted and screamed “Don’t take me back! I like my health! My legs are fine and don’t change it!” But there was no success in resisting.

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One Win, Two Loss, Reds Win, Blue Fish: A Reds Series Recap

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We’re not sure if someone made a joke, or if Davey just finds his full diaper to be warm and comforting.

You might be asking yourself, “What is this series recap for? Why no individual game recaps? Where are my pants?” The answers: Less work for us but a higher quality of posts, don’t worry we’ll still be doing them on occasion, and I took them. But lets not worry about pants and crimes. Let’s worry about baseball, specifically the series between the Nationals and Reds over the weekend.

Game 1:

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Harper waits to be informed of the weather using the time-trusted method of fans sticking their hands out to see if its raining.

Reds 15, Nationals 0.

If you’re a big Nats fan like me, you really enjoyed watching…whatever was on the first channel I could turn to in order to get away from this horrible terrible game. Unless of course you couldn’t find the remote, and you were too lazy or obese to move from the couch to turn away from this hellish game. Sorry you had to endure that, Livan.

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Run, Jesus Flores

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He’s not taking it well.

In a series of non-tenders, the Nationals have let Jesus Flores go. Jesus, I’d thank you for all you did for this team… but there’s no time. Run.

Run while you can! You can escape being a catcher for the Nationals! Don’t look back!

Didn’t you see what happened to Wilson and Sandy and Carlos? It was going to happen to you too. If you stay too long, I can’t guarantee your safety. It might be hard leaving Washington, but know that the team is doing this for your safety. Find a safer place. Like behind home plate in Arizona, or Minnesota.

Just run. Don’t let the Curse of the Catcher catch you.

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Nats Acquire Denard Span

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Denard’s mother believes having discipline is important for baseball, and still believes in spankings to enforce it. Denard is not fond of spankings. Or as his mom calls them, “SPANkings.”

The Nationals pulled off a big trade just minutes ago, acquiring Denard Span from the Twins for pitching prospect Alex Meyer. The team has been trying to find a solid CF for a few years, and have made many attempts at Denard during that Span of time. The (front) Office has done good by bringing in Denard Dog.

Span has dealt with injuries for a few years, but when playing he’s a big on-base threat and a quality fielder. While this would be a good acquisition for any team, it means a lot for the Nationals. The move allows Werth and Harper to move to the corner outfield spots, making Morse or Moore a valuable trade chip, and the re-signing of LaRoche not such a sure thing. I’m sure Adam would be worried about what this means for his future with the Nats, if he hadn’t already been distracted by 3 separate topics in the last 5 minutes.

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Are Our Catchers Horribly Injured? Jhonatan Solano Injury Edition

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Solano and the other Nationals catchers crouch before what we’re assuming to be a firing squad, given their luck.

Jhonatan Solano is injured and likely going to the DL. It’s time for another edition of “Are Our Catchers Horribly Injured?”

Jhonatan Solano: Some call his injury just an oblique strain. Some call his injury a fatal illness. Most call his injury just an oblique strain. Solano will likely be placed on the DL soon, marking his first time hurt this season. It was only a matter of time, peer pressure always gets to you.

Sandy Leon: With Solano’s injury, a rehabbed Sandy Leon will likely return. Leon was hurt horribly in his major league debut but has made his way back. He will however be placed in a giant bubble for protection. Some may call this inconvenient for catching and throwing, but I think it’ll be just like a pitchback.

Wilson Ramos: Wilson underwent successful ACL surgery today. I’m surprised by this. Not that it was successful, but that there was even an ACL left there.

Carlos Maldonado: Maldonado has been making his way back from injury and is playing at AAA. The American Airlines Arena? Ugh, everyone is going to the Heat nowadays.

Jesus Flores: Flores has escaped the injury bug for the time being and remains the Nationals starting backstop. But let’s be honest, being a healthy Nationals catcher is like being born in the 1800s. You probably don’t have much time left.

Keep tuning in to find out if our catchers go down with violent injuries.

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The Nationals at the Break

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This toaster is just like our season; We burnt everyone and we too had the option for frozen, as it applied to our offense at times.

Here we stand at the midway point of the baseball season. Or, if you’re someone like Rich Garces, here we sit. It’s much too tiring to stand up with all that weight. Baseball has reached a point when many people take time to rest and many others take time to analyze each team’s performance to this point. Given I am unemployed and thus have been doing nothing but rest for weeks, I’ll give the latter a shot and look at how the Nationals have done to this point in the season.

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Red Alert: Joey Votto Exists: Nats’ Bats Less than Votto’s as Reds Take Finale

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Before today’s game, Adam LaRoche realizes that the cock shots he sent to a fan were a bad idea. (Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

Final Score: Reds 9, Nationals 6.

Dame of the Game:

Danny Espinosa: 2-4, 1 R, 1 2B, 2 RBI, 1 BB, 1 K. How sad does Danny winning this make you? This sad? I thought so.

Shame of the Game:

Henry Rodriguez: Loss, Blown save, .2 IP, 2 H, 2 BB, 4 ER. Oh, Henry. That wasn’t pretty. Tonight, Joey Votto took advantage and made you look like a fool. At least it wasn’t the most embarrassing instance of Joey for National. The National Broadcasting Company made this mistake with Joey years ago. Will we ever learn?

Nearly 4 hours. That’s how long I had to wait to see the Nationals play a baseball game today. Nearly 8 hours. That’s how long I had to wait to see the Nationals lose a baseball game today. You know what I could’ve done in this time? I could’ve painted a picture. I could’ve eaten lunch. I could’ve…I was going to say more but it took me nearly 8 hours to come up with those first two. I haven’t been this upset about waiting so long to see a Nationals success story only to be disappointed since 2005-2011.

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Wilson Ramos Tears ACL, Sandy Leon Era Begins

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Ramos insists on being carried off the field. It makes him feel like he’s flying.

It’s not every day that the call up of a backup catcher ignites a fan base and thrills the masses. Today is no different. But with Wilson Ramos’ bad injury that is really bad, the Nationals called up Sandy Leon to back up Jesus Flores for the foreseeable future. I don’t know a whole lot about Sandy, but with a name like that I feel that other Nationals players will avoid lending him their shoes. Hopefully Leon proves to be as terribly difficult to get out as his namesake, although getting lodged in the crevasses of other players’ bodies might cause unnecessary on-field delays.

It’s a big blow for the Nationals to lose Ramos for what looks like the rest of the season. However I think that there’s no group more disappointed and feeling unfulfilled by this injury than the taxpayers of Venezuela.

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