Tag Archives: Zach Duke Week

A Giant Shit (Named Rafael Soriano)

Bryce Harper celebrates scoring the go-ahead run in the 10th inning of game three by singing every aria from Mozart's "Don Giovanni" in succession. (AP Photo/Ben Margot)

Bryce Harper celebrates scoring the go-ahead run in the 10th inning of game three by singing every aria from Mozart’s “Don Giovanni” in succession. (AP Photo/Ben Margot)

Game 1:

Giants 8, Nationals 0

Oh, Zach Duke. I’m not mad. I’m just…disappointed. We dedicated a whole week to you this offseason. We did our best to make you feel welcomed and loved in the Nationals family. We took you in off the streets, despite your filthy, mangy hair and rabid foaming mouth. We bathed you, fed you, clothed you, neutered you. We gave you everything we had to give.

And this…this is how you repay us? 4 ER in 3 IP?  How could you be so ungrateful? I will not strike you, Zach Duke. I will not even raise my voice.

But I never want to see you again, Zach Duke. Begone from this place, and do not return.  Continue reading

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Zach Duke Retweets Us

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An accurate depiction of my emotions when I found out.

We have made efforts in the past to reach out to Nationals players, trying to make them and their followers aware of our efforts here at The Zimmerman(n) Telegram. One time recently I tweeted at Michael Morse in Morse Code, asking how he felt. He replied with “Sick!” He was either failing to understand what I had asked, or he was desperately calling for help.

Just a few days ago, I tweeted our story about Bob and F.P. returning to F.P. Santangelo, which led to him following us on Twitter. I can assume he liked it, but maybe he just follows anyone who tweets at him. Although being followed by big names isn’t new for us. We’re followed by @IanDesmondNews which totally isn’t a bot or anything.

But just yesterday, a story of ours was retweeted by Zach Duke, right in the midst of Zach Duke Week. Here’s the proof!

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My Personal Connection to Zach Duke

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My brother took this photo, so that means I know Zach like a brother. Right?

Over the years I have traveled across America, attending hundreds of baseball games. During this time, I’ve had some pretty cool experiences with different baseball players. Sadly, Zach Duke isn’t one of the interesting story providers. I met him briefly once though, and have a few other stories that I remember that have to do with Zach.

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