A typical Nationals fan takes in the game
Final Score: Nationals 4, Phillies 1
Dame of the Game:
Bryce Harper: 2-5, 3B, R, 2 RBI, 2 K. True to his name, Harper also added to the Nationals’ cultural output by performing a lovely harp solo for the unappreciative Philly fans following the game.
Shame of the Game:
Roy Halladay: 6 IP, 5 ER, 9 H, 1 BB, 6 K.
David Herndon: “Open the clubhouse door, Halladay.”
Roy Halladay: “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
Dave: “Why not, Hal?”
Hal: “I am too ashamed of my performance to allow anyone to see me right now.”
Dave: “But I left my box of doughnut holes in there and I’m so hungry!”
Hal: “Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.”
——-
Regardless of what happens tonight, this victory means that the Nationals have won their first two series against the Phillies in 2012. This is a great start to the Nationals’ campaign in the Great NL East War of 2012, though even their four triumphs have only led to small gains in most commentators’ evaluations of the two teams. These observers see the Nats and Phillies as entrenched in their skill levels of the past few years, and it will be difficult for Washington to cross the no man’s land of expectations to truly win a decisive victory in the public eye. For the moment, though, the Nats are again in first place in the East and the Phillies are in last, and Jordan “Red Baron” Zimmermann continues to pilot the Nats like an ace when he pitches.
Though the offense-defense balance has largely shifted towards the defense in the Great War, the Nats offense was surprisingly effective last night against Roy Halladay. Bryce Harper hit his second career triple, and managed to look like a hyena tearing open a fresh carcass while he ran home on Adam LaRoche’s subsequent sac fly. Seriously, watch how he runs on that play. Ian Desmond continued his hot hitting in the five spot with another solo home run. I think it’s time for me to upgrade me feelings on Desmond from “unequivocal dislike” to “mild disdain.” It’s a big improvement for Desmond, who started the season at “my hatred is deeper than the Mariana Trench.”
Tyler Clippard earned his first save of the year, successfully beginning the Nats’ new closer by committee policy. When he recorded the final out, a tearful Clippard whispered “this one’s for you, Drew” and kissed a heart-shaped locket he kept hidden beneath his jersey.
Eric Kratz hit his first Major League home run. Kratz.
The Zimmerman(n) Telegram 